Sunday, April 26, 2009

Im tired of messing up jsut so ever one knows
im tired of it.
Im tired of pain.
Im tired of life. Im tired of being the bad guy
Im tired of not habving the write thing to say.
Im tired of lieing. Im tired of being told im not good unuf.
Im tired of being hurt.
Im tired of fealing likei want to cry but never elting my self or never being able to
Im itred of living like this
Im tired of being tires
It tired of being me
Im tired of trying hard
Im tired of working adn getting nothnifg fomr it
Im tire of not being good unuf

I guess stuff ahs jsut been going on this was a gblog befor but i change the adress s my frined asced em if i had delted it oculd ahve told her no and that i jsut chaged the adres but didnt want to cosue this is the only place i cna say what ever i want to say and she wanont get magde at me. Man some times i m tired of that frendship i never say the write thing i never do the writght things atlest weeekly she gets amd at me nad it hurts and im tierd of it im tired of bieng hurt and the thing is sje dosnt even know itry o tel ehr and she jsut gets mead dani pleas dani waht is so stinkin ahard aoubt i dont want to tlakobut it any more what is so hard to udnerst that some one got uncofertable what is so stinkin hard aoubt that to stink undernst hwy cant she. She jsut gets mad she is alway amd at me ialways do soemithg worng i always mkae her mad some how i alwas always do something wong im ena come on me do someitnh write ha thats a joke.

Im tierd of this fealing see i have another frined nad i might have sliped out someoe of how i feal and all and now she is worred im dipressed what she dsont know is that im sue to thins i have felt tihs way for so long i;ve don it all beofr she tihnk when she talks i dont get it but i do i live it. She is awlays worrrded dosnt want me dipresed man i have bne like this forever i didnt know dipresion could couse headachs untl a docter siad it and when my mom asked me if was dipressed i jsut sad no of coures it is totly posible it runs in my family. Ha ha a drunk jerk father whos diressed sont get that that effects kids moving effects fealing hopleslost adn emti nca kinda do this to aperons Peopal not seem to get when isay stuff aoubt my self i have atendince to bolev it and then see it as true its kinds like my way fo crying out i guess. I hate it. I ahte it all. I wish i oculd jsut curl up in a ball and disaper. There are some days i want tocome home and jsut not tlato any one losk my door and not come out. The only reosn idont is cos i have people dipending on me. Ha how funy people dipendiing on someone hwo is faling apart some one who dsont know up fomr down. Ha its funy wrting helps but hurts atll at the same time. I jsut i dont know i jsut wnat it to all stop. Oh and by the way im tited of palying of that stupid stupid maks. I go to churhc usnday night adn ill good smileing having fun adn thne i get home an i fell like imgdiging and i hate it i jst hate it. That is the worst feling in the world goinb g sfrom like over the moon to 6 ft under it kills it akmmes me jstu want to lay in bed and enver move to never ever get bakc up agen.

Im tired of woring poeli realy am. I jsut worry poelp all the item. I ahve a finred that i tnhk i scared good last night. I ddint mean to it jsut jsut hurt. I dont know why. See it wasnt logicla at the piont in time i've felt the pain but usly it coems with my piered and is cramps realy realy bad crams that mkae me puke my guts out. Adn last inght i was so scared i would. I was so glad i could fall aaslepe. I ddint mena to worry ehr but when yu;re stomics husrts liekt hat its not easy to ignor. I nca ignore my knee and head ashc but that one no way its like like soemone is shooting me stabing em Hum nice tohugh someone killing me. Ha hA that a ice though t o ithnk thaat to me it feals nice if soemone wnat s to kil me amni m one meessed up kid nothnig knew though i always knew that. Im just tired of well everthing

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